I have been a practicing Feldenkrais Practitioner consistently (except for the covid era) since 1999, and a Bones for Life teacher since 2009. During this time I’ve had hundreds of clients, each of whom came to me for a different reason. Some came to improve their posture, others to ease pain, still others to move more gracefully, to improve a lifelong scoliosis, to be able to dance as a senior citizen, to find some peace from Parkinson’s Disease. Many understood instinctively that there were other, more subtle gifts available. They came in hopes of being less driven, less anxious, more confident of their bodies, less encumbered by lifetime habits of thinking and behaving.
I think it’s fair to say that many of these good people – especially those who stuck with their lessons over a period of time – ended up receiving benefits that went far beyond their original hopes and expectations.
This is not unusual in the world of body-mind practices; often some loud, annoying problem insists on a response from us, so we take action and find a talented practitioner of some kind — and as we begin to unravel the contributing factors, we find that all kinds of unforeseen and even delightful results ensue.
Just recently it’s come to my attention in the most welcome of ways that this has recently happened with two women, each of whom has been receiving Feldenkrais and Bones for Life lessons from me for over 10 years. Each of them has, separately from one another, discovered a new kind of freedom, something profound with real implications for the rest of their lives – and something they never expected.
One of these precious women I’ll call Maybelline.
I’ve written about Maybelline before, because she is dear to me and has had so many ah-hah’s during our work together that it’s no longer a surprise to either of us when she has some sort of awareness breakthrough!
Maybelline often referred to herself in the early days of our work together as a Frozen Body. There was plenty of room for transformation! We were thrilled the day she realized that she had organized her way of being in the world around the felt experience of having only one working eye. We were joyous the day she realized that her improved posture had also brought a greater self-confidence. There are many other examples of her unfolding that we have shared together.
The newest unfolding is somewhat different.
Maybelline has been, to some extent, driven by the fear of pain. Not because she can’t stand pain, but because what pain means to her. To her, even a small pain means that something is very wrong. Even a small pain has historically put her in a state of deep worry about her vulnerability. [Allow me to clarify that pain CAN be a signal that something’s wrong and I would never encourage a person to ignore pain that they hadn’t checked out with their health professional.]
Still, one day last week she was in the middle of her Feldenkrais lesson and she felt a little pain and we started talking about pain as an experience. I asked if she’d ever thought of pain as being a ‘sensation’ and if she’d thought about what her current beliefs are about pain and experiencing pain.
She immediately took this suggestion and ran all the way to the endzone with it. In a matter of minutes, she had understood in herself that pain is a sensation, and that in some situations it’s perfectly fine to treat it as such. She began to see how the FEAR of pain had been terrifying her during a lifetime of feeling vulnerable.
For the first time, she saw that she had a choice in how to respond to pain.
Imagine being the witness to this transformation! It’s on days like this that I remember why I will ALWAYS be a Feldenkrais practitioner, no matter what other occupations or pre-occupations are monopolizing my schedule.
Imagine being the witness to this transformation! It’s on days like this that I remember why I will ALWAYS be a Feldenkrais practitioner, no matter what other occupations or pre-occupations are monopolizing my schedule.
So, for Maybelline, there is now a new FREEDOM. A freedom from having to be terrified every time she feels a pain. This is huge for her, and huge for me.
Then there is Annie (not her real name either).
Annie has had a moderately severe scoliosis most of her Life. She has, from my point of view, totally risen above it, having had a long, loving marriage that produced three well-educated, productive children and a handful of grandchildren. She is politically sophisticated, well respected in our community, is active even in her 80’s helping to make the world a better place and tending her fairyland of a garden.
When she first arrived, she was used to being physically active (taking yoga class, walking every day, and more) but she didn’t really have much of an idea about the Life of the Body itself. As an intellectual, she was reliant on the rational mind to sort out and solve all her problems.
For several years when I talked to her about the body-mind side of the movement lessons we were doing, although she was always respectful, it was clear to me that the ‘intelligence of the body’ wasn’t a phrase that meant much to her. Therefore, listening to the intelligence of the body wasn’t possible for her at that stage; she learned the lessons, and she did them at home, for years, trusting in the process and in me, but not really having some of the profound direct experiences that can come from immersion in somatic work such as the Feldenkrais Method and Bones for Life.
But, today… Yes, TODAY (which is why I had to sit down and write this article) she told me two things that have changed for her recently. She didn’t think of these as necessarily big developments, but I saw them right away as what they are: Indications of a new kind of freedom that was not possible for her before.
First, she casually mentioned that, when she lies down on the floor in her home to do some Feldenkrais work, all she has to do is lie on the floor and her body immediately starts to change without any effort on her part. ! Oh yes. This is fantastic news! This is a state of being that’s familiar to anyone with years of doing supine lessons of the sort that we use in the Feldenkrais community, and it’s a very desirable state.
Imagine if you could release some of your habitual uncomfortable, dysfunctional or painful habits — if they could quickly and easily melt away – by simply lying on the floor and quietly observing your experience. That’s a kind of freedom!
Imagine if you could release some of your habitual uncomfortable, dysfunctional or painful habits — if they could quickly and easily melt away – by simply lying on the floor and quietly observing your experience. That’s a kind of freedom!
Annie has, gradually, trained herself into that level of capability. This alone was cause for a celebration!
And then, as our lesson proceeded, she suggested something she’d like to do (whereas usually I do most of the suggesting). She said, “Oh, this is something I figured out at home while I was lying on the floor. I just do it because it feels good; it’s almost like I’m just letting my body do what it wants to do! I don’t really have to think about it.”
“Glory Hallelujah,” said Meriah. !!!!! There it is, more evidence of Annie’s transformation.
Now she has the FREEDOM to lie on the floor and listen to her Body. She can have faith in her own process, her own body-mind intelligence, to lead the way.
Although of course I hope both of these women will continue coming to see me, in one way of looking at it, they don’t really need me anymore! As I told Annie today, “If I died unexpectedly tomorrow, I’d feel great about where you’ve come to; I’d know you will be alright.”
Now, because of their own intelligence and perseverance, and their open-minded attitude toward learning… They both know what freedom can feel like.
