“2021 is the Year of Empathy for those who want to succeed.”
That’s what I heard on Lou Bortone’s Video Bunch Summit this morning as he interviewed his first guest, one Peter Shankman. Lou asked: ‘What do you recommend for small businesses who want to prepare for whatever the new normal will be in 2021?” The empathy answer made it worth the time to attend the webinar.
Shankman went on to say, “This is the year when we all must focus on how to make people’s lives easier, help them feel better, help give people a sense of calm.” His concluding remark was “People are going through shit.”
Yeah, that’s precise.
One of my dearest friends texted me this morning, “Went through a bad spell for a couple of days after I learned how little getting a vaccine is going to change my life (I had thought I could get out and about after it.)” As she’s a highly adaptable person, she snapped out of it fairly quickly, but I felt so moved just to know that she had been suffering that way. And I then began to wonder: How many other people are feeling exactly like this right now?
We don’t have to look very far to find someone who’s suffering. They may be in the house next door, or in our own house! They’re in plentiful supply on the nightly news. We would have to be rather dull or closed-hearted people to be unaware of the truth of what Shankman said. People ARE going through shit. This DOES need to be the year of empathy.
This caused me to think about the things I do to help others, both professionally and personally. I know I feel the best on the days I have been able to positively impact someone else’s Life.
Small businesses – in fact all businesses – are always best off when they’re focusing on the needs of their customers, but this principle has greater merit and weight right now than perhaps ever before in our lifetimes. It’s a time to think about who our customers and potential clients are, what they are going through right now, and re-think what we can provide for them that addresses the challenges they’re enduring.
Sometimes we approach this in a matter of fact way, using research instruments and other means to learn about what’s going on with our clients.
In my opinion, right now this kind of abstracted information alone is not sufficient. Understanding our clients can’t be understood with mental analysis alone. We need to have conversations with people, conversations where we do most of the listening. We need to try and feel what they’re going through. That’s empathy.
Empathy implies that we feel what someone else is feeling.
To get to empathy, we have to immerse ourselves and bring some heart into the matter.
That can feel a lot riskier than scanning spreadsheets for common themes.
Another friend of mine, a longtime Feldenkrais client, once told me that I’m too empathic. He said, if I recall correctly, “I’m glad I’m not as empathic as you are. I would be exhausted.” There’s truth in this perspective. Earlier in my Life I didn’t have much capacity for protecting myself while identifying with the pain of others. I found out: It does no one any good for us to wallow in pity or concern for others in such a way that we’re immobilized by the feelings. As a natural empath, I’ve had to learn what to do about this conundrum: how to feel for others without drowning in it.
Many years ago, when I was studying the use of energy in healing, I learned about constructing energetic barriers or shields around myself so that I could sense the energy and feelings of others without being confused, drained, or overly involved. Along those lines…
In an excellent article in Whole Life Times, Barbara Savin lists nine methods for what she calls “energy protection”. The easiest and most practical is to ramp up our production of feelings of Love.
Love is a positive and creative force that repels negativity. It empowers you because the strength of love will block any attacking energy and push it away. Negative energy cannot attach itself when you do not welcome (it)… (Instead), feel and think loving thoughts.
The process of ramping up our feelings of Love intentionally is something I call “active loving.”
The Dalai Lama takes it a big step further. He teaches that by engaging in this kind of pro-active practice, we actually begin to change ourselves, putting our own minds at ease. He says that if we open our hearts to the suffering of others, the natural outgrowth is compassion, and compassion has benefits for everyone. Here’s a quote from his book The Art of Happiness.
I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It is the ultimate source of success in life.
This is a transformational skill set for anyone to acquire. It’s especially necessary for small business owners to survive in a world where people are struggling, fearful and uncertain about so many things.
Together, let’s make this the Year of Empathy, making strides in our businesses by expanding our understanding of the people we serve. Let’s have conversations with our people that involve deep listening. Let’s think of them as individuals rather than as “customers” in the abstract sense. As long as we’re all living through this crazy time together, we might as well step forward and help when and where we can, both in business and in Life.
Who’s Who? in this article…
Lou Bortone is a video marketing coach and consultant who provides video tips, tools and resources for video marketers and small business owners on his website and YouTube channel; formerly a television executive for E! Entertainment and Fox.
Peter Shankman is an American entrepreneur and author, best known for founding HARO (Help a Reporter Out), an online service for journalists to gather feedback from the public. Author of Nice Companies Finish First: Why Cutthroat Management Is Over and Collaboration Is In.
Barbara Savin is a Certified Clinical & Medical Hynnotherapist, Master Energy Healing Specialist, author of the best-selling book Gentle Energy Coucy, the Beginner’s Guide to Hands-On Healing and more.
His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, describes himself as a simple Buddhist monk. He is the spiritual leader of Tibet and one of the most beloved spiritual teachers in the world.
